Positive Parenting is a way to parent your child that focuses more on your child’s positive behaviors rather than on your child’s problem behaviors.
Things to do:
- Praise your child and tell him exactly what you like about his behavior. “I like how you cleaned up your toys!”
- Ignore minor negative behaviors such as whining and screaming.
- Play with your child for about 5 minutes a day and let her lead
the play. - Actively listen to your child by reflecting what he says back to him.
“I understand that you want another cookie.” - Use a when-then approach. “When you put on your shoes, then you can go outside.”
- Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do. “Please walk” instead of “Stop running.”
- Redirect your child by making something else seem more interesting.
Things to avoid:
- Spanking or threatening your child. These increase hitting and other negative behavior.
- Yelling and screaming at your child.
- Teasing and laughing at your child’s negative behavior.
- Giving attention to negative attention-seeking behavior.
Things we know:
- Being consistent lets your child know what to expect and lets your child know that you mean what you say.
- Offering a child choices between 2 possibilities gives the child a sense of control. “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?”
- Rewarding good behavior increases the chances of that behavior happening again.
- Picking your battles allows you to work on one thing at a time.
Acknowledgements:
This publication was made possible in part by Grant No. T73MC00050 from the Maternal and Child Health Bureau, Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA), Department of Health and Human Services (HHS); and the Vanderbilt Leadership Education in Neurodevelopmental Disabilities (LEND) Program. Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of the Maternal and Child Health Bureau.
Top photo by Getty Images/iStockphoto
[May 2012]